I'm feeling....

...rather ranty today.

Bear with me.

I've come down with my second cold in a month (sigh...) and that means I'm not sleeping well.

Lack of sleep + sinus headache = a very cranky Ms Scarlett.

Seriously. My eyebrow is raised...

So, in no particular order, here are a few things that have really been irritating the hell out of me lately. I'm sure a lot of you can relate to some, or maybe even all, of these.

• My formerly fun, cool friends who are pregnant/new mothers. I get that you're thrilled to be a mother, but honey, you are NOT the first woman to crank out a baby. And if you sigh and give me that slightly condescending, pitying look while you *explain* to me that you couldn't possibly leave the baby with your (apparently incompetent, untrustworthy) significant other to come out for dinner with a few of the girls even one more time... I might just slap you. For reals. And please.. PLEASE, stop organizing events that revolve entirely around children. Those of us who don't have kids feel like the ultimate third wheels at those things.

• Oh, and also... I might not have kids, but I spent most of my teens caring for other people's kids, and most of my adult years so far teaching your bratty kids; so, yes, I do have a schmeck about children. You are not superior to me because you were able to conceive. And the fact that I don't have any idea what's on Treehouse TV at any given moment does not make me stupid. 

• You... yeah you. The one sitting in your car, half asleep, first in line at the lights. PAY ATTENTION!! Some of us would like to make it through this light when it turns green instead of waiting for you to notice that everyone around you has started moving. It drives me nuts that I can sometimes make it to a full count of ten before I can take my foot off the brake... and I'm only three cars back. I could dedicate a whole post to what pisses me off on the road... from drivers who refuse to use their signal lights to self-appointed traffic cops... but I won't go on that particular rant today.

• Why do some people feel they need to help me finish my sentences? I have never been able to figure out that particular conversational quirk. It's almost like they're trying to be extra good listeners, but fighting the urge to interrupt at the same time. It's something I find SO distracting and annoying. I often lose the thread of what I'm saying because I'm now veering wildly off my sentence track, trying deliberately to throw them off.

• Eternal victims place pretty high on my list of pet peeves. You know the types. Nothing in their life has ever gone their way, everyone they meet/marry/work for is out to get them, and it never once occurs to them that the common denominator in all of it is them. They have an excuse for everything, and taking ownership of their own lives and problems just never enters their heads. These are people I like to call "walking, talking organ donors".

• You and your bicycle belong on the road. Get off the sidewalk. Even the police will tell you that a bicycle is considered a vehicle, so unless you're under the age of 14, or riding with someone under the age of 14, get your punk ass off the sidewalk and don't glare at me when I don't get out of your way. I'm walking here.

• Those fine citizens that own dogs, and somehow believe the world is their pet's toilet. The fact that it's winter and there's snow on the ground does not mean that you can cover your dog's pile of poop with some snow and just leave it there. The amount of dog shit that is now revealed by the melting snow along the trails where I run is truly revolting. Pick up after your dog, jackass!

• Along the same topic, I'm absolutely horrified by the amount of litter I'm seeing along the roads. It seems like everyone has forgotten the Don't Litter campaigns of our youth. Spring is dirty and gritty enough without having to look at a million plastic bags and fast food containers too. Find a garbage can people! 

• The incredibly bad spelling and grammar I see everywhere lately - facebook mostly. Ok kids, learn the difference between there, their, and they're, and it's and its, and your and you're. The word is definitely, not definatly or defiantly. It's would have, not would of. The word you're looking for when searching for a secret lover is discreet, not discrete (though I do find that mistake rather hilarious). What shocks me the most is seeing these errors from people I know to be intelligent. Spell check will only get you so far, folks, at some point you're going to have to crack a dictionary.

• Bad service. Lately, it makes me borderline homicidal. I don't care how little you're paid, or how crappy your job is. I've done it too, honey, so suck it up. If you can't produce even the tiniest hint of a friendly attitude, then don't expect a tip. Furthermore, if you piss me off enough, I will demand to speak to your boss. On the flip side, if you do that little bit extra, no matter how small, I will lavish you with a ridiculous tip, and I will make a point of telling your boss how fantastic you are. Which side of that equation would you like to be on? The same principle applies to retail employees.

• And, while we're at the restaurant, why is that so many people do not understand how to hold and use cutlery? There's nothing that makes a person look more like a slack-jawed yokel than that classic fork held in the fist while they saw away with the knife. I won't even start on the chewing with an open mouth habit I often see as well. I've seen girls who have clearly spent hours getting ready, paying attention to every tiny detail of their appearance in an obvious effort to come across as sophisticated and worldly, only to blow that whole illusion out of the water the moment they started to eat.

I think I must be getting old... more and more things irritate me as I accumulate birthdays, and I'm less and less willing to just let things slide. Someday soon, I'll be that scary old lady down the street who stands on her lawn shaking her fist at Those Damn Kids.... maybe I should start collecting cats now?

What about you? Got any pet peeves that make you insane?