Patrick ~ ...There Must Be Fire... and Indecision...

After that first meeting I felt a little at sea.  I had said from the start that I didn't just want to get laid, I wanted a connection. I wanted that spark. I wanted to feel to feel desired. Then Patrick walked into that pub and completely blew me away. He was gentle with me, understanding of my obvious panic, a true gentleman in every sense.  I was overwhelmed by the strength of my response.

'But, Ms. Scarlett,' I can hear you saying, 'That response is a good thing! It's what you were looking for!  What's the problem here?'

In a nutshell ~ I was afraid.  I had neatly bundled the whole concept of this venture into a tidy corner in my head, and my response to Patrick made it clear to me that I hadn't thought this through completely.  I went home to a quiet house - Hubby was out of town - and I sat on my sofa with my glass of Shiraz and mulled. That night, while making my blog rounds, I came across Ms. Inconspicuous for the first time. She spoke of how she had separated her home life from her extra-marital adventures.  Compartmentalization was the word she used.  Reading back through her blog entries I started to see how I could make this work.

Aside: I'm very sad to see Ms. I leave the blog world.  Her writing has been a big inspiration to me. Her words both comforted and motivated me when I needed it most.  She is truly gifted and lucky and I hope she finds continued happiness and bliss in her life.

The next day, I signed in to messenger to find Patrick waiting for me.  He was a little concerned that he had somehow screwed up the day before, that he had scared me off.  I reassured him, laughed off my absence of the afternoon before, and we resumed our conversation. Like a true gentleman, he didn't push the issue, but let me prattle on over the next few days without any pressure to meet again.  

That weekend he was out of town, running a half marathon and celebrating his birthday in Seattle.  I spent the entire weekend thinking about him, missing our chats, and reliving our meeting ~ especially that tiny, earth-shaking touch.  By the time he returned my mind was made up.

I wanted him.  Dear God, I wanted him bad.

Our next meeting was very different from the first.  The location, the weather, the mood ~ all very different. 

The fire between us was exactly the same...