Love, Actually*...

Click the links for parts one and two.

After the revelation of his last visit, I was left truly wondering if I would ever hear from Aiden again.

I know - that doesn't seem right. The guy just told me he loved me... why wouldn't I be hearing from him even more?

But I understand the way his mind works. We're both married to other people, albeit unhappily. He has an established life, family, career, existence a thousand kilometres away. This realization and its revelation would have (as he so delicately put it) "totally fucked up" the balance he'd (we'd) worked so hard to maintain when it came to each other.

This was, to be certain, a huge spanner in the works, and I fully expected him to withdraw out of sheer self-preservation.

One week passed, then two, with no word from him. Somehow, I understood that I needed to let him make the first contact. The waiting was difficult, but I understood.

The email arrived one afternoon while I was making the rounds of the grocery store. Needless to say, I stopped dead in the produce department and gave his words my full attention.

And they surprised me, to say the least. Where I expected panic or even resentment, I saw new understanding and resolve. He was actually embracing the feelings, scary as they were. He described me alternately as friend, temptress, lover, and oasis, ending with the thought that he had intended for our relationship to be simple and fun, and it had ended up being anything but simple, though still fun.

There was, over the course of the next few days, quite a bit more back and forth between us, but in the end, he's not going anywhere. At least not right now. In fact, I will see him in a few short weeks.

I have to say.... I'm dying to see what effect all this has on our time together.

Will he still be that intense, mercurial, dominant lover, or will this soften him? I, for one, hope not. I'm hoping for even more intensity, tempered a bit maybe with genuine affection, but no less electrifying.

The real puzzle, I guess, is my feelings for him...


*not just one of my favorite movies... a great post title too!